Every few months, my husband does a "time audit" for work. Basically, it is a time log of everything you do each day for a week. The purpose is to see where your time is being spent and if that is the wisest use of your time. It's a useful tool for productivity. Greg is a pretty funny guy so I always love reading his log, plus it gives me a peek into his days as a pastor.
I am a stay-at-home-mom. I do not have a boss to ask me to do a time audit. But I do often feel like I get NOTHING accomplished in a day. I often feel like the exact opposite happens, that way more gets added on to the to-do list with nothing marked off. I have felt insecure when people come to my home, and it's a disaster. I have even felt embarrassed to have my husband come home, and it look like I've just been sitting around all day letting the house go. I am a person that loves process, and it kills my soul to feel like I have not accomplished anything. So I decided to time audit myself. Am I actually doing anything? Am I playing enough? Am I keeping house enough? Am I spending too much time on my phone? Am I spending too much time doing one thing when I should be doing something else? All these questions would be answered.
Boy, was this hilarious. Here are the screenshots of the logs taken on my phone that day.
This was actually a fairly average, if not good, day. I didn't have any extra errands to run or any place to be with the kids. I didn't have to pay bills or do anything extra. This is an "easy" day. Plus the kids were pretty well-behaved. Some quarrels and bumps and bruises are to be expected, but nothing nearing crisis happened (which does happen frequently with 4 kids under 5!). We even enjoyed some laughs!
And don't I feel accomplished after reading that list!! I am a freaking super hero. Not really, but pretty dang close. Please don't misinterpret this for gloating or me thinking that I'm the bees-knees. I definitely don't, quite the opposite actually. BUT, I do feel so much better about myself after actually looking at a list of things I did do. And this list did not include any diaper changes or potty training (besides the poop on the floor). It also didn't include the one million questions I answered, all the times I was asked for help, the owies kissed, or all the sibling disputes I had to intervene on. And I got way less descriptive as the day went on.
But what did my house look like at the end of the night? Like absolutely nothing but pure chaos happened all day. The sink and counter were still full of dishes. There were still dirty clothes and toys on the floor through out the house. I'm not even sure if I got out of my sweats that day.
But despite what looked like the fruit of my labor at the end of the day, I know that I am a good mom. I know that I work hard. I know that I love my kids. I know that I did what needed to be done to keep the house running-we had clean dishes to eat off of and clean clothes for the next day. And I know that my kids had fun that day. We played and enjoyed our time together and made some memories. And that's all I can really hope for.
So I'm not sure what the point of this blog is except to share a little mom-humor and encourage you that YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB! And it IS a job. And you DO work. I know this job can be thankless. I know this job can seem rewardless. I know that you get so much flak from people who have no idea what you do all day. But this is worth it. These memories with my kids are worth it. If you are struggling to see your purpose in your days at home, do a time audit. Jot down the things you do all day, take note of funny stories with your kids. Find the humor and the joy in these days of constant needing and doing. Oh, this motherhood thing is such a trip! I pray you can find God's glory as you run around the house like a crazy person. It's a beautiful mess.
In grace,
Kate