My husband says I’m hard to encourage. And he’s right. I honestly just do not believe people when they say kind things to me. It’s not because I think they are lying or anything like that. It’s because if I don’t believe it about myself, or if I see myself differently, I think, “If they really knew me they wouldn’t think those things.” It’s like, “That’s nice and all, but I know the truth. You’re just biased or seeing me through some faulty lens that makes me appear better than I actually am. I’m really not that good. I’m actually kind of terrible.”
Read morethe battle in the calling.
The past week has really reminded me that we are in a battle. We are in a battle against the Enemy to pursue our calling. Yes, we have ultimate victory in Christ, but here on Earth, we have to fight for what is good and what is true.
Satan attacks you where your gifts are. He doesn’t want you using them. He either wants you distracted or doubting.
Read morefamily ministry.
I have posted in the past about the uniqueness of living in vocational ministry. I’m sure many professions have their own unique struggles and hardships but I wanted to expand a little on life in ministry.
It’s easy to dive head first into ministry. There are so many needs around us. There is so much it takes to keep the local church running. Doing God’s work is all good right? Well, not necessarily.
Read moremarriage with littles.
I am asked often about how we cultivate our marriage during the season of littles. I haven’t written anything on this because well, I don’t feel super equipped to speak into it. We do not have a perfect marriage by any means. But I do feel like our marriage is strong despite our inadequacies. So, I figured I would share a few things and ask for you all to share as well. Let’s lift each other up and help each other out.
Read moresatisfaction.
I didn’t know I was an emotional eater.
I didn’t know that I so often turned to food as a coping mechanism. I didn’t know I used it to satisfy and fulfill me. I didn’t know it was my way of escape.
It’s actually super obvious to me now, I don’t know why I never recognized it. I sneak food (that I don’t let my kids have) when when they are driving me crazy or making me angry or stressing me out. Usually some type of sugary snack or chocolate seems to make the moment feel better. Something that’s just for me to keep me going…
Read morethe unseen work of a mother: devotional part 3
Last month, I turned 27. I sat at a table, surrounded by friends, and was lavished with the most undeserving affirmations. As tradition, picked up from a friend, each person around the table gets a turn to tell the birthday person what they mean to them and what they have seen in them in the past year. There are always tears, lots and lots of tears…
Read morethe unseen work of a mother: devotional part 2
I have a lot of people come up to me and ask, “How do you do it?” I usually say something like “I’m not,” or “I have no idea.” I have four kids under age 5. I was thrust into motherhood at age 22 with twins. I was completely unequipped and lacked mental and emotional strength. Feeling like a failure was the norm. It took years for me to realize that God is teaching and molding me during this season. I honestly thought I wasn’t doing anything right and that my relationship with Jesus was nonexistent. I was so focused on the hard stuff that I was blind to the work of God within me. The work that is unseen.
Read morethe unseen work of a mother: devotional part 1
I wanted to do a reflection over this passage through the lens of my personal motherhood journey. I have struggled with many aspects of being a mom. It is so extremely hard. And I think we have so many wrong ideals of motherhood. We expect too much out of ourselves and our children. I have really been examining my motives and my definition of success lately in this area.
What makes a good mom? What shows that a mom is doing well? What am I expecting my children to do in order to prove to myself and to those around me that I am a successful mom?…
Read moresacrificing, saying no, and choosing the best.
Our culture thrives off of busyness. We can always find something to spend our time on. And we generally choose to. If there is an open block in our schedule, there is something waiting to fill it. Many times these are GOOD things. Goals, aspirations, people we love, opportunities to serve. But I think we need to be more intentional about how we spend our time.
Especially me.
Especially my family.
Especially living in ministry…
Read moretiming is everything.
I thought we could get practical this week and talk about time management! Does anyone else just not have time to do everything they wish they could? I feel like I am always struggling to complete my to-do list, but also desiring to enjoy the time I have with my kids and husband. It's such a hard balance between responsibilities to our family and the daily tasks. For me, it is hard to be present and engaged when I have so many things undone. I can't focus, and I get high anxiety if I can't walk through my house without stepping on something. Usually playing in my kids' room turns into me organizing their toys while they play. This is definitely one of my biggest struggles as a mom.
I know I need a system, a better way to organize my time, so I can feel free to let loose and have a little fun. Time management is kind of like a good budget. A good budget includes all the items that are crucial (bills, groceries, etc.) but also includes money to spend on entertainment, date nights, and miscellaneous things. I want my time to be like this…
Read morekeys to our marriage.
When Greg and I were in pre-marital counseling, we were asked to come up with 4 keys to our marriage. The four things that we thought would be the most important, yet not naturally easy, that would keep our marriage strong. I think this is a great exercise for couples. We look at our keys every anniversary and evaluate how well or poorly we used them that year.
Here are our four…
Read moredefeating the Amalekites in marriage and ministry.
This past weekend, we had our annual youth retreat at our church. My husband serves as the Youth Pastor, and I am honored to work along side him. The week leading up to the event was STRESSFUL. We had leaders backing out left and right, not enough servers for food, anticipated rain for our outside portion of the weekend. Things were just not coming together. And to top it off, we also had personal and family things going on. Our water heater busted the morning of the day the event would start. My husband and I just kept looking at each other all day that Friday thinking, this is just not going to work. We were exhausted and defeated before we kicked off the weekend where we would just get more tired and stretched thin.
I actually walked into the church that Friday evening and told my husband I did not want to be there, and I wanted to go home and cry. But I was only staying because I knew he needed me…
Read morewhy I jumped on the bandwagon.
I have been forced to come to the realization that I have become an emotional wreck. Going through pregnancy and nursing twice has left me a little hormonally unbalanced, or a lot. I have weeks of feeling like I'm in a pit that I can't get out of. Anger and frustration that I've never experienced in my life. Overwhelming sadness. Fear and panic at the littlest things.
Honestly, I had been afraid to talk about it, even to my husband. I would try to hint at how I was feeling, but felt shame over how I really felt on the inside. I am married to a pastor; we do ministry every day. And this is where a lot of my shame has come from. There is a lot of pressure to have everything together when you are leading people in Christ. And sadly, judgment when you don't.
I've had this voice in my head, "You aren't praying enough, trusting enough, reading scripture enough, finding joy in Christ enough."
And though that is always true, there is so much more to grow in Christ; I knew I needed some extra support. I'm pretty to blessed to have the husband I have, though. He graciously brought it up to me that he felt like something was wrong. And I confessed that I had been feeling the same thing. He told me to start searching for ways to help.
I was actually already in a group about essential oils at this time. The very next day after this conversation with my husband, the group discussed how oils support emotional health. I was so intrigued by the research and the personal stories behind them. Oils could be a natural way to help without the side-effects of other options.
Let me tell you, I was super skeptical, but pleasantly surprised. I got the Young Living Premium Starter kit (11 oils), and then ordered a few more that I felt would be beneficial for me during this time. Young Living has a line specifically for emotional support. They really have promoted emotional balance in me in just the month that I have been using them.
I was so surprised with the uses beyond just emotional support (sleep, sickness, kiddos!) that I wanted to share with others what has been working for our family.
Have you been wondering what essential oils are all about? I'd love to be here for you to answer any questions; I have some great friends that know a lot more than me too, so I can ask them if I don't know the answer.
Want to try something out for a specific area? I'd love to order something and send it your way! Some of my favorites are:
- lavender and cedarwood for sleep
- bergamot and grapefruit for uplifting
- Gentle Baby for all things baby
- Progessence Plus for hormonal balance
- Thieves for immune support and just about everything
What's in the starter kit?? 11 oils, a diffuser, and lots of fun samples.
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You can grab the kit for yourself here: https://www.youngliving.com/vo/#/signup/start?site=US&sponsorid=10917669&enrollerid=10917669
We all have struggles in different areas, and I believe one of the best ways to overcome is to tell a trusted friend. Community does wonders for the things we feel shame about. When we stay in isolation, we give more power to those things. I pray that if you have something you are concerned about, you will reach out to someone to help you battle it head on. I am also here if any of you would like someone to listen; I've been told I have good ears!
In truth,
Kate
be changed.
A lot has changed since I first became pregnant. I graduated college. My husband and I started in full-time ministry. We bought a house. We got pregnant again. We bought a car. We've done renovations. We've pursued other projects. But mostly, I have changed as a person. And honestly, I don't fully know what that all means. I know that I am less confident and more insecure than I used to be. I know that I love more and have a heart for justice more than before. I am more stressed and depressed and angry. I treasure time alone and find pleasure in simple things. My house is dirtier and I have less time for relationships, but the relationships I still have are stronger and more meaningful. We have less money but have become more creative in making ends meet. I feel farther from God but see Him in new ways around me. It's like I'm growing and changing without knowing it or understanding how…
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