the Rowan diaries.

When Kent was born, it was a great joy but also a great sadness for me. We had agreed we were done having children but my heart was not fully ready. Each first and last of his was a mourning in me. I wanted to hold on so badly but time kept going and he kept growing. The last time I nursed him I cried believing I’d never be that close to a babe again. I had accepted it but was grieving too. A deep longing in me remained and in the past couple years, it only grew stronger.

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Halloween 2020.

We did all the normal things this Halloween. I know that might sound crazy to some but to me, what was crazy was keeping my kids from experiencing another part of life this year. My kids have had to give up so much. They still haven’t met their 1st grade teachers. They haven’t played with more than a couple close friends from church since March. They didn’t get to do any normal summer activities. We decided we aren’t keeping them from things anymore. The mental, emotional, social, and physical health of my kids is extremely important to me. We are holistic people, and we are going to live like it.

So we did Halloween. And I actually think there were MORE houses open for trick-or-treating this year than last. There were lots of clever ways of handing out candy safely (lots of candy chutes!), which I figured would be the case. Honestly, it was so much more fun than the regular ring-the-doorbell way. We still have a ton of candy, and I have no idea how we are going to be able to eat it all!

Here’s a fun gallery of us all dressed up. And by all, I mean ALL, parents included!

Costumes are as follows:
Jack: SWAT team, Traeh: spooky witch, Autumn: snow fairy, Kent: skeleton, Greg: skeleton, Me: witch

birthday.

My husband says I’m hard to encourage. And he’s right. I honestly just do not believe people when they say kind things to me. It’s not because I think they are lying or anything like that. It’s because if I don’t believe it about myself, or if I see myself differently, I think, “If they really knew me they wouldn’t think those things.” It’s like, “That’s nice and all, but I know the truth. You’re just biased or seeing me through some faulty lens that makes me appear better than I actually am. I’m really not that good. I’m actually kind of terrible.”

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fear.

Whew. What a topic to be vulnerable about.

This year, I have been part of Go Teams by Go and Tell Gals and one of our coaching sessions was on fear.

Before this, I would not have considered myself a fearful person. Fear wouldn’t be something I would confess in a small group or ask for prayer over. Besides the fear of safety (city living, y’all) I didn’t know I was fearful.

I do, however, play it safe. And that is just another way to say fearful.

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marriage with littles.

I am asked often about how we cultivate our marriage during the season of littles. I haven’t written anything on this because well, I don’t feel super equipped to speak into it. We do not have a  perfect marriage by any means. But I do feel like our marriage is strong despite our inadequacies. So, I figured I would share a few things and ask for you all to share as well. Let’s lift each other up and help each other out.

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my breastfeeding journey.

Breastfeeding has been a huge part of my journey as a mother. I have felt so honored and privileged to serve my children in this way. It hasn’t always been easy, but I am a lucky one that hasn’t had any major issues.


I knew I wanted to breastfeed because I knew I was created for it. I knew I was capable. I knew I was strong enough. I also knew that breastmilk is freaking liquid gold, it is seriously so nutritious! Like my body specifically makes milk for my specific children to help grow their bodies. What?! So cool.


Also, I knew I couldn’t afford formula. I had twins at 22. We had zero money. We honestly had no means of buying formula even if we wanted to...this is also a HUGE reason why we cloth diapered. The money just was not there.


I’m not sure if anyone believed I could nurse my twins. The nurses and pediatrician at the hospital tried their very best to coerce me to use formula. I just knew I didn’t need to. It was a deep strong conviction. I was honestly offended that people didn’t believe nursing would be the best for my babies and that I couldn’t possibly do it. But we did. I chose to tandem nurse for all our sanity. I did not want to spend all day nursing. It was a huge ordeal at first. They were 34 weeks, so tiny and sleepy. It took a while to get them awake enough to eat. And during the days by myself, getting propped up to nurse them was a task. I needed a lot of room and the hugest boppy known to man. But they thrived and we showed all those health professionals what’s up! My little girl had an intolerance to dairy we found out around 4 months, after so many stomach issues her entire baby life. So I had to give up ice cream and cheese to help my sweet girl feel better. But it was so worth it, her temperament changed night and day. I nursed them until they were 16 months old. I only stopped because I got super annoyed by nursing...I just wanted my body back! Haha! I kept saying, “I don’t want them touching me anymore!” So Greg told me it was okay to be done, and we stopped! They didn’t care one bit and had no issues weaning!


Nursing my sweet little Autumn was such a blessing. Though hard at first, recovering from a devilish c-section, it was so therapeutic and uplifting to me going through postpartum depression and anxiety. Knowing we could have that sweet time together really gave me joy. I nursed her all the way up to being pregnant with Kent, around 15-16 months, and only stopped because my body stopped producing. She wanted to keep going and would try to nurse for few weeks after the milk was gone. We eventually found a new routine.


Now I am 5 months into nursing my precious little Kent. I am not inconvenienced at all by breastfeeding. I think it’s easier than having to make a bottle, and I honestly don’t mind being the only one to wake up at night for feedings, I cherish that time together so much. I also love using breastfeeding as an excuse to leave a busy room. Introverted at heart, I don’t mind missing out on the fun and will sometimes pretend to nurse to get some alone time. But, I’m also not afraid to nurse in public. When baby has to eat, he has to eat! I use a cover depending on who I’m around...usually just at church. It gets harder to use a cover as baby gets bigger because they wiggle and pull it off anyway. I always try to be modest because I personally feel my boobs don’t need to be seen by anyone else.


I am really honored to have been able to breastfed my children. It has given me so much life. I am honestly going to be sad when my last baby is weaned. The wonder of breastfeeding truly cannot be described unless you can experience it yourself. Happy World Breastfeeding Week!