Birth stories are the best stories, in my opinion. They are magical and wonderful and a feat of strength to be shown in this world. My last two labors were quite similar in their progression but each special in their own right. I have so many intimate moments with Rowans birth, and I wanted to share.
Read morenaming.
A year later, I am getting around to sharing more of Rowan’s story. This part is very intimate to me and may not mean much to anyone else, but I wanted to share how we chose the lovely name of Rowan June for our dear girl.
Read moregrowing.
Being pregnant with Rowan is something that I will cherish, even though it came with its own struggles. Thankfully Greg was entirely thrilled, just like me, which came by my surprise. He said that the idea of having another child had been growing in him for a while.
Read morethe Rowan diaries.
When Kent was born, it was a great joy but also a great sadness for me. We had agreed we were done having children but my heart was not fully ready. Each first and last of his was a mourning in me. I wanted to hold on so badly but time kept going and he kept growing. The last time I nursed him I cried believing I’d never be that close to a babe again. I had accepted it but was grieving too. A deep longing in me remained and in the past couple years, it only grew stronger.
Read morehomemade lunch.
We at the end of a very big week. Three of my four kids went back to school, and one for the first time. My sweet and spunky Autumn girl started Kindergarten, and to say I was a wreck is an understatement.
Read moreHalloween 2020.
We did all the normal things this Halloween. I know that might sound crazy to some but to me, what was crazy was keeping my kids from experiencing another part of life this year. My kids have had to give up so much. They still haven’t met their 1st grade teachers. They haven’t played with more than a couple close friends from church since March. They didn’t get to do any normal summer activities. We decided we aren’t keeping them from things anymore. The mental, emotional, social, and physical health of my kids is extremely important to me. We are holistic people, and we are going to live like it.
So we did Halloween. And I actually think there were MORE houses open for trick-or-treating this year than last. There were lots of clever ways of handing out candy safely (lots of candy chutes!), which I figured would be the case. Honestly, it was so much more fun than the regular ring-the-doorbell way. We still have a ton of candy, and I have no idea how we are going to be able to eat it all!
Here’s a fun gallery of us all dressed up. And by all, I mean ALL, parents included!
Costumes are as follows:
Jack: SWAT team, Traeh: spooky witch, Autumn: snow fairy, Kent: skeleton, Greg: skeleton, Me: witch
birthday.
My husband says I’m hard to encourage. And he’s right. I honestly just do not believe people when they say kind things to me. It’s not because I think they are lying or anything like that. It’s because if I don’t believe it about myself, or if I see myself differently, I think, “If they really knew me they wouldn’t think those things.” It’s like, “That’s nice and all, but I know the truth. You’re just biased or seeing me through some faulty lens that makes me appear better than I actually am. I’m really not that good. I’m actually kind of terrible.”
Read morefear.
Whew. What a topic to be vulnerable about.
This year, I have been part of Go Teams by Go and Tell Gals and one of our coaching sessions was on fear.
Before this, I would not have considered myself a fearful person. Fear wouldn’t be something I would confess in a small group or ask for prayer over. Besides the fear of safety (city living, y’all) I didn’t know I was fearful.
I do, however, play it safe. And that is just another way to say fearful.
Read morethe battle in the calling.
The past week has really reminded me that we are in a battle. We are in a battle against the Enemy to pursue our calling. Yes, we have ultimate victory in Christ, but here on Earth, we have to fight for what is good and what is true.
Satan attacks you where your gifts are. He doesn’t want you using them. He either wants you distracted or doubting.
Read moreto the ones who made me a momma.
I have had many people ask if I regret having kids so young. And I think that is a question worth answering.
First, I believe God has a journey for each of us. And it was as clear as your two little heartbeats during that first ultrasound that this was mine. My journey of motherhood, my journey of who I am. He was in control the whole time. He wanted you here with me in that time. It is so apparent.
Read moreTop 10: Pregnancy Essentials
This will not be your average top 10 list of favorite products. Instead, I really wanted it to be a holistic look at pregnancy needs, not limited to the latest and greatest things on the market. Preparing for a baby is a lot of heart work, just like preparing for marriage is more than picking out the best silverware, so is preparing for motherhood.
Mom friends.
Find someone who’s been there before and will be upfront about all the insanity that is pregnancy and motherhood. For real, super crazy stuff happens. A lot of weird things you won’t find in a copy of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” You need to find someone who’s gonna tell you like it is, and a voice of solidarity when all that stuff is going down. Also, having a friend that is win the same stage is so comforting! You get to go through all the crazy together! Having a Mom Squad has been one of my favorite things about motherhood!Naps.
I do not nap. Ever. Except when I’m pregnant. Your body NEEDS it. Find some time to take naps. If you can’t take one daily, take one on the weekends or when you can. You may not feel like you’re doing much, but your body is hard at work and could use some extra rest. I also highly recommend a pregnancy pillow. It will save your belly and your back & hips once you are further along!Some good clothes.
You are going to want to be comfy. Find some versatile clothes that can transition through pregnancy. Old Navy and H&M have lots of great options for inexpensive basics. Going to a wedding or other special occasion: ASOS has some beautiful dresses! For the everyday, some athletic shorts or leggings (these Blanqi ones are AMAZE), t-shirts or tanks (even long length and not necessarily maternity work well too, then you can wear them post baby too!), and a comfy bra. Also, I highly recommend splurging on one outfit that just makes you feel good, beautiful, and sexy. You’re body goes through a lot and you’re doing an insanely hard work growing another human, you DESERVE to feel beautiful!Oils
You know I’m going there. I know some of you may not be into oils, but during pregnancy I feel like it’s a no-brainer. The list of meds you can’t take is a mile long and even the ones you can might not be the best for you little one. Pregnancy is the best time to get into oils, if only for the reason of limited options. Did you know that citrus and mint oils can help with nausea and other digestion issues? Lavender and Frankincense are amazing for that itchy, stretching baby bump. Joint pain and muscle aches, gotcha covered. My favorite is valor and copaiba together rubbed on problem spots, hello widening hips! Feeling emotional? Bergamot, White Angelica, and Stress Away can help. Ningxia and Super B can boost your energy, trust me, you need these. Total life changers. And there are so many more, give me a shout if you’d like to learn more or click here!Worship, Prayer, & Jesus Friends
I don’t know if you know Jesus, but I sure hope you do. Pregnancy can bring many unexpected things, and He personally led me through some pretty dark times. I had two high-risk pregnancies with many uncertainties. Knowing that no matter what, Jesus was in control gave me so much peace. And having a group of women to pray over me and hear me and speak truth into me gave strength to me when I wasn’t sure if I could go on.Pre-natal massage
Go ahead and pamper yourself. Especially in that third trimester when all the aches and pains are happening. A massage will feel wonderful on your body and on your mind as it helps you to relax. Find someone local who specializes in pre-natal massage and be upfront about your trouble spots!Nutrition.
Eat well, and often. Plus get a rockin’ prenatal. I know, from personal experience, that morning sickness may keep you from eating for a while, but as soon as you are able, try your best to eat nurtrient dense foods to fuel your body and your baby. I know pregnancy can be an excuse to eat all the junk food and sweets, but try to limit those (I definitely had a snow cone or two) and really give your body food that will make you feel good and not worse! Also finding a prenatal that is good is so important. Do some research and find one that will be best for you, here’s a hint, it’s probably not one from Walmart.Water
Water is EXTREMELY important during pregnancy. Get you a nice, big water bottle and carry it around with you everywhere. Hydration is so key and will help you feel so much better. It can help with headaches and muscle aches and much more!Exercise
Whether its walking around the block, or doing yoga in the living room, excercise will keep you and your baby healthy. It will also do wonders for your upcoming labor. Labor is like a long, very intense, work out. And taking care of your body during pregnancy will help give your body an edge during the labor process.A great OB/midwife
I can’t even stress how important it is to have a healthcare provider that you trust and that trusts you. Schedule a meeting before you pick a doctor. See if they are going to be on your side when it comes down to delivery. Remember they work for YOU! My first pregnancy was twins. I wanted the BEST twin doctor available because there are so many more risks with two babies. But I also wanted a vaginal delivery, I did not want a doctor that was going to automatically schedule me a c-section. I was so blessed to find my OB. He was completely on board with a medication-free, vaginal deliver of twins, and I DID IT! My next pregnancy was also high risk, and having a vaginal delivery would have likely killed one of us. I trusted him with my c-section and he even said, “I am going to do this with as little incision as possible because I know you want another vaginal delivery with your next babies.” Um, hello, amazing. And he kept his word and helped me through an unmedicated VBAC with my next child. I am forever grateful that he heard what I wanted and made sure to honor those wishes. Find a provider that is going to let you trust your body and help you make hard decisions!
leading littles into faith + the Tiny Truths Illustrated Bible review & GIVEAWAY.
Our goal as parents, as mothers and fathers, is to help our children uncover who they are in Christ and to lead them into a life of glorifying God. Our children will pursue their own paths, make their own mistakes, and accomplish huge victories, but my hope and prayer is that through it all, they are rooted in the One who made them and loves them more than I ever could.
So how do we lead our little ones into faith? I wanted to share some simple things that we love doing in our home, not only as parents, but also that our kids ask for and really enjoy. Plus I will review the new Tiny Truths Illustrated Bible and give you the opportunity to win your own copy!
Read morefinding mercy when motherhood isn't life-giving...
Frankly, many days I do not like being a mother. I feel so defeated. There is always whining, crying, fighting. I don’t like doing the dishes, or the laundry, or cleaning pee off the floor. I don’t like the disobedience and the reprimanding. I don’t like having to deal with the same thing over and over and over again. It’s so frustrating. I feel lost in the day to day life without room to pursue passions or dream or breathe. It wears me down. And I feel lifeless. Why don’t they listen? Why can’t there be peace? Why is it so hard? Why am I not happy?
Read morefamily ministry.
I have posted in the past about the uniqueness of living in vocational ministry. I’m sure many professions have their own unique struggles and hardships but I wanted to expand a little on life in ministry.
It’s easy to dive head first into ministry. There are so many needs around us. There is so much it takes to keep the local church running. Doing God’s work is all good right? Well, not necessarily.
Read moremarriage with littles.
I am asked often about how we cultivate our marriage during the season of littles. I haven’t written anything on this because well, I don’t feel super equipped to speak into it. We do not have a perfect marriage by any means. But I do feel like our marriage is strong despite our inadequacies. So, I figured I would share a few things and ask for you all to share as well. Let’s lift each other up and help each other out.
Read moremy breastfeeding journey.
Breastfeeding has been a huge part of my journey as a mother. I have felt so honored and privileged to serve my children in this way. It hasn’t always been easy, but I am a lucky one that hasn’t had any major issues.
I knew I wanted to breastfeed because I knew I was created for it. I knew I was capable. I knew I was strong enough. I also knew that breastmilk is freaking liquid gold, it is seriously so nutritious! Like my body specifically makes milk for my specific children to help grow their bodies. What?! So cool.
Also, I knew I couldn’t afford formula. I had twins at 22. We had zero money. We honestly had no means of buying formula even if we wanted to...this is also a HUGE reason why we cloth diapered. The money just was not there.
I’m not sure if anyone believed I could nurse my twins. The nurses and pediatrician at the hospital tried their very best to coerce me to use formula. I just knew I didn’t need to. It was a deep strong conviction. I was honestly offended that people didn’t believe nursing would be the best for my babies and that I couldn’t possibly do it. But we did. I chose to tandem nurse for all our sanity. I did not want to spend all day nursing. It was a huge ordeal at first. They were 34 weeks, so tiny and sleepy. It took a while to get them awake enough to eat. And during the days by myself, getting propped up to nurse them was a task. I needed a lot of room and the hugest boppy known to man. But they thrived and we showed all those health professionals what’s up! My little girl had an intolerance to dairy we found out around 4 months, after so many stomach issues her entire baby life. So I had to give up ice cream and cheese to help my sweet girl feel better. But it was so worth it, her temperament changed night and day. I nursed them until they were 16 months old. I only stopped because I got super annoyed by nursing...I just wanted my body back! Haha! I kept saying, “I don’t want them touching me anymore!” So Greg told me it was okay to be done, and we stopped! They didn’t care one bit and had no issues weaning!
Nursing my sweet little Autumn was such a blessing. Though hard at first, recovering from a devilish c-section, it was so therapeutic and uplifting to me going through postpartum depression and anxiety. Knowing we could have that sweet time together really gave me joy. I nursed her all the way up to being pregnant with Kent, around 15-16 months, and only stopped because my body stopped producing. She wanted to keep going and would try to nurse for few weeks after the milk was gone. We eventually found a new routine.
Now I am 5 months into nursing my precious little Kent. I am not inconvenienced at all by breastfeeding. I think it’s easier than having to make a bottle, and I honestly don’t mind being the only one to wake up at night for feedings, I cherish that time together so much. I also love using breastfeeding as an excuse to leave a busy room. Introverted at heart, I don’t mind missing out on the fun and will sometimes pretend to nurse to get some alone time. But, I’m also not afraid to nurse in public. When baby has to eat, he has to eat! I use a cover depending on who I’m around...usually just at church. It gets harder to use a cover as baby gets bigger because they wiggle and pull it off anyway. I always try to be modest because I personally feel my boobs don’t need to be seen by anyone else.
I am really honored to have been able to breastfed my children. It has given me so much life. I am honestly going to be sad when my last baby is weaned. The wonder of breastfeeding truly cannot be described unless you can experience it yourself. Happy World Breastfeeding Week!
satisfaction.
I didn’t know I was an emotional eater.
I didn’t know that I so often turned to food as a coping mechanism. I didn’t know I used it to satisfy and fulfill me. I didn’t know it was my way of escape.
It’s actually super obvious to me now, I don’t know why I never recognized it. I sneak food (that I don’t let my kids have) when when they are driving me crazy or making me angry or stressing me out. Usually some type of sugary snack or chocolate seems to make the moment feel better. Something that’s just for me to keep me going…
Read morethe unseen work of a mother: devotional part 3
Last month, I turned 27. I sat at a table, surrounded by friends, and was lavished with the most undeserving affirmations. As tradition, picked up from a friend, each person around the table gets a turn to tell the birthday person what they mean to them and what they have seen in them in the past year. There are always tears, lots and lots of tears…
Read morethe unseen work of a mother: devotional part 2
I have a lot of people come up to me and ask, “How do you do it?” I usually say something like “I’m not,” or “I have no idea.” I have four kids under age 5. I was thrust into motherhood at age 22 with twins. I was completely unequipped and lacked mental and emotional strength. Feeling like a failure was the norm. It took years for me to realize that God is teaching and molding me during this season. I honestly thought I wasn’t doing anything right and that my relationship with Jesus was nonexistent. I was so focused on the hard stuff that I was blind to the work of God within me. The work that is unseen.
Read morethe unseen work of a mother: devotional part 1
I wanted to do a reflection over this passage through the lens of my personal motherhood journey. I have struggled with many aspects of being a mom. It is so extremely hard. And I think we have so many wrong ideals of motherhood. We expect too much out of ourselves and our children. I have really been examining my motives and my definition of success lately in this area.
What makes a good mom? What shows that a mom is doing well? What am I expecting my children to do in order to prove to myself and to those around me that I am a successful mom?…
Read more