1 Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2 Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. 3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5 For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. (2 Corinthians 4:1-6, NIV)
I wanted to do a reflection over this passage through the lens of my personal motherhood journey. I have struggled with many aspects of being a mom. It is so extremely hard. And I think we have so many wrong ideals of motherhood. We expect too much out of ourselves and our children. I have really been examining my motives and my definition of success lately in this area.
What makes a good mom? What shows that a mom is doing well? What am I expecting my children to do in order to prove to myself and to those around me that I am a successful mom?
Have you thought about that? Man, I am so convicted thinking of the pressure I put on my children because I want to feel better about myself. Completely unfair and selfish. It's harsh to dwell on, but I think we need that perspective shift.
Motherhood is a beautiful ministry, yet extremely demanding.
It is a 24/7 job. And it is easy to lose heart.
I am a stay-at-home mom. I get run down and let down constantly. The house gets messy the second I pick up. The dishes get stacked back up after every meal. And my four kids somehow end up wearing multiple outfits each day, creating piles and piles of laundry. And those are just the basics that I have to keep going, not the bathrooms, and the floors, and the dusting, and vacuuming out the couch.
Not to mention all the things I have tried to teach my children. Be polite, don't fight, use kind words, pick up after yourself, wipe your own bottom.
My toddler hit my preschooler in the head with a wooden toy train today. My daughter stopped in the middle of a busy street as we were crossing to pick up an abandoned pink lego. Who does this?
Sometimes it seems like everything I attempt is a complete failure. I feel pressured from my failure to strive harder to be a better parent. If I was good enough, they would obey. If I could balance it all and be more organized, my house would be clean. No one can see the work that I am doing, no one even knows how hard I work. I want so desperately to be acknowledged. I want so desperately to see the fruit of my own labor that I keep trying, thinking if I can only be better, all these things I hope for will come to be.
Yet I feel stressed, insecure, and defeated.
I lose heart quite often.
But when we lose heart, we start preaching ourselves and not Jesus.
We preach ourselves a lot. Sometimes we can get caught up in the success of motherhood that we can start to mother out of impure motives. "Because I said so," or "because I'm your mother" are phrases that come out of our mouths. We want to be the motivation and the reason behind our children's thoughts and actions, not Jesus. We want to feel the accomplishment and the credit for their success and hear the praise of “You are such a good mom.”
We want them to obey us and do what we say, because we asked them to, and we are the authority in their life. This leads to so much disappointment and responsibility on our part. We can become bitter and calloused, demanding and intolerant within our homes, even though no one else may know. We want so badly to be seen ourselves that we loose sight of our ministry.
We act a lot more like those who are veiled than those who are bringers of Light.
How detrimental this is to our children. To their innocence, to their joy, to their creativity, to their view of who Christ is.
How do I not lose heart? How do I preach Jesus and God’s glory instead of my own? How can I be a servant to my children for Jesus’ sake?
I think we need to let Jesus be Jesus, and the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit in our kids’ lives. We must quit trying to fill those roles.
We are not responsible for their actions. Yep. It's true. Is your mind blown? Mine was when I heard that this past year. Our kids will make their own choices, and we can't force them to do anything. Kinda contrary to what we think, huh?
Usually we see a kid acting out in public, and we blame the parent...they haven't done a good enough job at teaching their kid right from wrong. But what if they have? What if they have done their due diligence to model Christ? Jesus will be the one to transform their lives and the Holy Spirit will be the voice to guide them through decision making.
We have got to relieve the pressure of perfect motherhood.
So many times, my kids have done things that I HAVE taught them better. Now, I could accept what society sees and blame myself for not doing a good enough job, or I can realize that my child is on a journey to Christ, just as I am. How freeing it is to not have all of that responsibility on my shoulders. I am freed to love through grace and give patience and understanding to both them and myself. My responsibility is not to control or force my child, because I can't, but to display the glory of Christ and shine a light on the path towards Him.
We need to shift our perspective of the ministry of motherhood. Our unseen work is to be the consistent light of Jesus, renouncing the secret and shameful ways, showing our children integrity, grace, and faith. It is through this that our children will see the unseen work Christ is doing in their own lives. And we should call out and affirm that work in them, placing our value on that rather than the results of our own parenting.
I hope you are encouraged. I hope some of the pressure is relieved. We have been given a beautiful ministry, to be servants of Jesus to our children. What a privilege it is to be a part of their story in Christ.
I hope you join in next Tuesday for part 2 over verses 7-15.
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in grace,
Kate
