16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NIV)
Last month, I turned 27. I sat at a table, surrounded by friends, and was lavished with the most undeserving affirmations. As tradition, picked up from a friend, each person around the table gets a turn to tell the birthday person what they mean to them and what they have seen in them in the past year. There are always tears, lots and lots of tears.
Strong.
Resilient.
Confident.
Raw.
Capable.
Bendable.
Compassionate.
Sees people.
Loves others.
Affirms others that it’s okay to be in process.
Wow. I never imagined I’d be described like that. I never thought anyone would ever see anything in me more than just a stay-at-home mom or a pastor’s wife.
Transitioning into motherhood wasn’t easy for me. I wasn’t ready for it. I’m sure not many are. I struggled with anxiety, anger, loneliness, and loss of hope. It was hard to keep going, day after day, not sure if things would be better. Don’t get me wrong, my kids are actually really good and my husband is extremely supportive, but I was in a dark place. My troubles did not seem light or momentary, but heavy and long-lasting.
But I powered on. I tried to focus on the fun things or grin and bear it. For a long time, I handled everything really poorly. I didn’t really let anyone know the extent of the thoughts I was having until I just blew up and had to leave the house for a couple of hours.
I was fixing my eyes only on the seen things, the things I couldn’t control. Conversations with my husband or close friends reminded me that what I was doing was important, and that one day I would see the rewards.
Honestly, most of the time I didn’t believe them. I was really, really bad at putting this verse into practice, but that did not stop the Lord from continuing His work within me.
His faithfulness continues.
So all those qualities others said about me, did I put them here to toot my own horn? No way. Part of me still looks at this list and says, “That’s definitely not me!”
"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Peter 1:6-7, NIV)
The “tested genuineness of your faith” refined through the fire, that’s what this list is. These are the unseen works that Jesus has and is growing within me while I persevere in faith through the trials.
These qualities are only but a testament to the Lord, praise and glory and honor to His carrying me through the past 5 years. This is Jesus in me. This is my revelation of Him. These are the things that I get to use to point others to Christ, whether they see my life or hear my stories.
So what about you? Even if you may not believe it, God is doing some crazy things in your life. It might take you years to believe it.
But ask those around you. Write them down. Even better, ask them to write it in a letter to you. I have a journal that I ask my husband to write things in…things he has said that have really encouraged me. It’s comforting to be able to go back and read them on tough days.
Ask God too! Ask Him to reveal what He is wanting to teach you during this time. You are in the process for a reason!
"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him the the dominion forever and ever. Amen." (1 Peter 5:10, NIV)
Remember that God is a God of grace. All the troubles we go through have a gracious end. We will be more like Christ because of it. And we will glorify Christ through it. You might be in a time of darkness like I was, where all of this is really hard to believe. That’s okay. Just keep pressing on.
He will restore you. Your broken heart, dreams, thoughts…they will not last. They may be overwhelming right now, but it’s just for a time.
He will bind up your heart and set your feet on solid ground.
He will confirm you. He knows the work you are doing better than you do. He created you for it and has placed you in the ministry of motherhood for a reason. He will pronounce you valuable and worthy. He will speak truth into your fears and lies.
He will strengthen you. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But really. These trials that we face develop strength in us. Little by little, we will be more prepared and equipped to maneuver difficult situations.
He will establish you. You will be established as righteous and God-fearing. Those around you will know your faith. Your children will see the life you have given them and what it has cost you. Others in your life will be encouraged to press into Christ because of your perseverance. You are doing it, you are encouraging others, you are making a difference.
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal..."
You are an integral part to the Kingdom of God, even as a mother; most definitely as a mother. Be encouraged that you are a work in progress; a masterpiece, slowly being unveiled by the hands of Christ.
in grace,
Kate
P.S. - Thank you so much for join me in this devotional series! If you missed one or both of the previous ones, feel free to go back and read them! As always, subscribe to my weekly blog using the form below!