When Greg and I were in pre-marital counseling, we were asked to come up with 4 keys to our marriage. The four things that we thought would be the most important, yet not naturally easy, that would keep our marriage strong. I think this is a great exercise for couples. We look at our keys every anniversary and evaluate how well or poorly we used them that year.
Here are our four:
- Perseverance. This is very important for Greg. It was a quality he saw exemplified through his parents, especially through his mother's battle with cancer. It is so important to keep persevering together when times get hard or even monotonous. We need to be on the same team with the same goals. Giving up is not an option. Perseverance looks different depending on the season or situation, but it is our job as spouses to support and encourage each other.
- Joy. We need to have fun together as a couple. We need to lighten the mood and be silly. We need to look for God's peace and understanding in the hard times so we can praise and be thankful. It's easy to get serious or get stuck in our daily habits and miss out on the little moments of joy that can be found with each other. We need to treasure these times and make it a priority!
- Prayer. This is the hardest. Why is this the hardest?! Prayer is the most important thing we can do for each other and for our marriage. We need to be praying every day. Asking each other what to pray about and when they need prayer the most. Praying truth through scripture over each other and being vulnerable about our needs and struggles. We have such a hard time doing this and really need to focus on it!
- Learning. This is an important one for me. Especially going through so many changes due to motherhood. I want my husband and I to be students of each other. Everyone grows and changes. Many relationships drift apart because of this. I want to seek to learn about my husband throughout our relationship. What his needs and wants are. How he feels love and what makes him upset. We cannot expect all of these things to stay the same as when we were dating. As life changes, so do we. Setting aside time to learn about each other is so fulfilling.
Take some time this week and sit down with your spouse and come up with your own keys to marriage! I would love for you to share what they are and why you think they are important!
with grace,
Kate