Not too long ago, my husband and I were meeting with a spiritual mentor about some spiritual warfare issues that had been going on in our lives. We were seeking direction on how to handle a few different situations, and also asking for prayer and support during this time. The meeting changed course and was very surprising to me. During his prayer for us, our mentor began to focus on me. He said that he felt deeply that I needed to learn my name. Have you ever had someone speak truth and life into you? Has someone ever encouraged you so deeply that you just honestly didn't know what to think or how to respond?
This was a first for me (well, beside my husband). And frankly, it was hard not to dismiss everything he said as a lie. I have a hard time believing the truth about myself. I have a hard time seeing the good in me. Satan has lied to me for so long that I really don't see myself clearly. So as he was speaking, the voice in my head just kept saying That's not me, I could never be like that, I'm not good enough. I'm not capable. It was so hard to push aside the lies and listen to what he was saying. I had to go home and spend a long time in prayer and reflection to understand what God was trying to show me through this.
It would be a long, weird story trying to relay what he said to me that day, but it came down to this one verse:
Blessed are the pure at heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8
My name, Kate, is derived from the Ancient Greek word for pure. Our mentor actually compared me to an essential oil, which I just found hilarious because he had no idea I had just started using them a few weeks before. He said that I needed to mediate on what it means to be pure, and how I can hold on to that and use it for God's Kingdom. He also emphasized the word see. I compare myself to my husband a lot. He is a wonderful, godly man. He is a pastor. I can often feel intimidated by his faith. The work that he does for the Lord is very evident, and I can feel like I am doing nothing, like God isn't using me. It can be very discouraging and disheartening feeling like I don't have a purpose. But the encouragement about seeing is that though I may not be the one on the front line, my purpose is seeing where God is at work and calling others attention to it. This was echoed by my husband who said that many times it is through my direction (unintentionally on my part) that he knows when to act and when to speak.
I am not writing this to talk about how great I am. Honestly, I still don't really believe these things about myself yet. But I'm working on it.
God has given each of us a name. We are special to him. What is it that he wants you to know and believe about yourself? About who he created you to be? About what he has called you to do? I would love for you to spend some time in prayer and seek this from the Lord.
Please feel free to share what God has taught you through this!
with grace,
Kate