Bringing home a new baby is such an exciting time. But it is also a huge time of change. Not only for you, your husband, and your baby, but also for your other children. It can be a very drastic thing becoming the older sibling. So many new changes come along with that, and it can cause unwanted behavior issues. So how do we prepare our children for a sweet new addition?
My perspective might be a bit different than most. My first pregnancy was with twins. So they were born having to share everything: time with mom and dad, attention, toys, you name it. So that may have been an advantage when we had our third child. But we did implement a few things when I found out I was pregnant.
First, we told our kids right away what was going on. It takes time to adjust to major life changes, especially for children. Our whole family dynamic was going to change and that included them. So we kept them updated on what was going on with the pregnancy.
I have HORRIBLE "morning" sickness, literally throwing up 10 times a day, and since I stay home with my kids, they really needed to understand why mommy was sick all the time. My husband taught them how to hold my hair and rub my back and get me a washcloth when I was sick. They were only a little over 2 years old, but knew that being sick meant someone had to take care of you, so they tried their best. It was so sweet.
We also took them to an ultrasound and kept those pictures on the fridge. We talked about how she was growing and changing. We also told them when we got bad news, and we got a lot of it. My second pregnancy was pretty scary, and we were not sure what the outcome would be. So we told them that our little baby might be sick, that we needed to pray for her and for me. And we lifted up prayers together everyday.
Teaching your kids about what babies are like is also important. How they cry and sleep, and don't really play at first. Also, preparing them for what it's like to be an older sibling: how you can help out and have fun with a baby. We love having our older kids "teach" our baby things. They still come up to me and get excited when our 10 month old smiles at them because we made a big deal about our kids teaching her how to do it! Our older kids really love the importance, responsibility, and inclusion they have with our baby!
Keeping the lines of communication open during pregnancy and after your new baby is born is very important. We need to listen to our older kids if they feel left out, lonely, sad, frustrated, and help them out with those big, real feelings. Creating one-on-one time with each of child is also such a great way to show them love and value. Let your kids pick an activity for the two of you to do together!
There are some great resources out there to help you and your kids during this time of transition. Here are a few that we used:
Daniel Tiger tv show has some great episodes about this.
Julius, the Baby of the World by Kevin Henkes
The New Baby by Mercer Mayer
I would love to hear some of your favorite tips, advice, or resources for this challenging time! Please leave a comment and share with us!
with grace,
Kate