Our culture thrives off of busyness. We can always find something to spend our time on. And we generally choose to. If there is an open block in our schedule, there is something waiting to fill it. Many times these are GOOD things. Goals, aspirations, people we love, opportunities to serve. But I think we need to be more intentional about how we spend our time.
Especially me.
Especially my family.
Especially living in ministry.
Honestly, this has been our struggle since my husband and I started dating in college. Want to know why? My love language is QUALITY time. Going to the movies is not a date. If I have the chance to spend 2 hours alone with my husband, we best not be wasting our time watching a movie. There better be some good, deep conversation flowing, investing in each other.
Here's the problem. I don't always hold myself to this standard. I often do not choose what is best for my family. I often say yes to too many things without considering that I am saying no to those that might need me more. I have been learning the importance of protecting my time...for myself, for my marriage, for my kids, and for those people and those actions that God has called me to.
My husband and I have been tackling this head on recently. We have a tendency to get busy and miss what is important. Whether it is weekly ministry, big events, side jobs, or social engagements, our calendars fill up quickly. There have been seasons where my husband will come to bed hours after me, give me a kiss, and that is the first time we have kissed all day. That just does not sit well with me.
We have to fight for what is important. We need to turn of social media, put the broom down, and spend time building our relationships.
Sometimes that means sacrificing things we really want to do so that we can pour into our children. Sometimes it means saying no to our friends because we haven't spent an evening alone. Sometimes it means asking for a few hours of alone time to refuel. And sometimes it means getting a baby-sitter so we can go on a double-date with our closest friends.
It is so important to talk about your needs and the needs of your family before filling up the schedule. If I never voice that I feel lonely, my husband won't know we need a date. If I don't listen when my kids say they miss going to the park together, we will miss a great opportunity to show them love. If I don't hear my husband when he says he is drained, he will keep working himself if I don't give him space to rest.
What things do you need to say no to? What do you need to be honest about that you need? What is you family trying to communicate that they need? How can you better schedule (or not) your life to leave room for simple, beautiful moments with the ones you love? Does you family have a system for this? Do you have a time where you sit down and talk about the week ahead? Do you have days set aside for dates or family time or alone time? What does that look like?
with grace, Kate