John 12:1-3
Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.
Mark 14:3-9
As he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they scolded her. But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.”
Mary of Bethany, the sister of Martha, liked to stir the pot of Jewish culture. We meet her earlier in scripture as she sat at the feet of Jesus, while Martha worked. This was something completely outrageous and unacceptable in their day. But here she takes it a step even further.
Mary’s actions were downright scandalous and even erotic in front of this group of Jewish men.
Let me explain.
As she breaks the alabaster jar, anointing Jesus’ head and feet, she lets down her hair and wipes His feet. In Jewish culture, women’s hair was to be covered except at home, in the presence of her husband.
Even more, her alabaster jar of nard, a very expensive perfume, was likely part of Mary’s dowry, a special gift saved for her future husband and marriage bed. It was worth one year’s wages.
Nard is mentioned only two other times in the Bible, both in Song of Solomon. It was the perfume the woman used to attract Solomon as they lay on the couch. Later, as he describes her body as a garden, he mentions this lovely perfume again.
Now, I know we don't like to think of Jesus as a lover. It's weird to associate sexual and sensual things with our Holy, Perfect Jesus. But in reality, He created intimacy. And though our culture likes to define intimacy as sex, or talk about unrealisic expectations of love, intimacy and love is truly the giving up of ones’ selves to know and be fully known by the other. It’s vulnerable. It’s beautiful. It’s consuming.
And this is who Jesus is, more than anyone He knows me. He knows my name, He knows my heart, and He has given everything so that I can know Him too.
And here we see that Mary’s response is the closest thing she could have done to match that level of intimacy that Jesus offers, and to enter into that relationship with him. No, it’s not sex, but it’s wildly intimate. Full of vulnerability and boldness.
Even though she was familiar with making a scene, I wonder what she was thinking before left it all there on that floor. She seems so confident, so bold, so Mary. But you know she had to have had doubts, fears. She probably felt self conscious and insecure. Her father and sister were there too, what would they think? Would her father be upset that she just poured our her dowry that he had saved for her? Did her sister think she was crazy, putting Jesus above a future husband? But she did not let these whispers of the enemy stop her.
Mary sees Jesus as just as worthy as a lover. Someone so intimate to her that she would let herself be ridiculed and embarrassed in front of a room full of people just to show her devotion and love to Him. She was willing to give everything she had for Him. To give her future, to give her reputation, her pride.
She was desperate for Him. She had a hunger to know Him more, love Him more. She wanted to be with Him. Honestly it’s uncomfortable to be this desperate. It’s so risky to put yourself out there. What if Jesus reprimanded her, pushed her away, ignored her? Any other man would have. But she trusted Jesus. And that trust is what ushered her forward, into the limelight, all eyes were watching.
We could choose to remain composed, on the sidelines where it is safe and we would never have to face rejection, but we would never get to experience fullness.
I think about my most intimate relationships, my husband, my best friends. There’s so much I would be willing to give up for them because I love them so deeply. We are willing to embarrass ourselves to flirt with our spouse or someone we are interested in. Or even just being silly to cheer up a friend or make fun memories together. We have considered these people worthy of giving ourselves up for.
And this is the relationship Mary had with Jesus.
Because He is the most worthy. Because He had already given so much for her. And would do even more, giving His actual life for hers and for the rest of us.
“This is what love is: that one would lay down his life for his friends.”
Jesus is not just a teacher, not just Lord, not just a healer. He is a lover. He is the ultimate giver of self. Mary, unknowingly, sets the tone perfectly for the very next day when Jesus would get down on His knees and wash the feet of the disciples. Laying down His position, His privilege, to be a servant. In fact He would insist on it. To, of His own free will, intentionally become the least important person in the room.
Mary was already the least important person in the room. But she didn't let society telling her that she can’t, she shouldn’t, she’s not worthy, stop her from loving Jesus. She was stubborn.
Like Mary, Jesus did not take ‘no’ for an answer. He was unrelenting to love completely, fully committed to ensuring that we can have the most intimate of loves with Him.
A love that will endure anything to prove it, show it, act it out.
This is our Jesus. The fiercest, most devoted Lover.
And Mary’s response shows true humility to this overwhelming love. As she recognizes her unworthiness of Jesus’ love, she is moved to the most intimate display of love and commitment she can muster. So she takes down her hair, and pours the jar, and anoints Him with her life.
Judas and the disciples thought her display of love was a waste. But the only wasted love is a love not shown. And Jesus honors her actions. This woman, who has no right to be there, has shown greater faith and devotion than the men who have been walking beside Him for the past 3 years.
The disciples just didn’t get it yet, but they would. And I bet they thought back to scandalous Mary, loving Jesus with everything she had, and finally let her story teach them about following Jesus.
But what are we willing to do, to give up, to show our love for Jesus? Are we willing to go as far as Mary? Do we desire that intimate of a relationship with him? To know Him and be fully known by Him? Because sitting at the feet of Jesus is the best place to know Him. And He died so we could sit there, so He could love us to the fullest. Jesus, My Beloved.
Jesus, My Beloved,
My most intimate of relationships.
You are worthy of my attention, my focus, my stillness at Your feet.
I pray that I will not let the world dictate how I love You.
You have chosen me, and I will choose you.
Forgive my timidity to love You.
Lead me into a deeper understanding of who You are.
Thank You for Mary’s boldness, bravery, and stubbornness.
Thank You for Jesus for Holy Week.
For every step that led You to the cross and empty tomb.
You have given us every good thing, but most of all,
Thank You for giving us You.
For Your glory we pray,
Amen.