I'm realizing these days that I kind of suck at love languages. Especially with my kids.
Here's the thing: they are physical touch people, and I am not...like at all. I actually get really frustrated when the kids try to cuddle with me because it is weird. They want to sit on me and bury their faces in me and dig their toes into me. And most of the time I just can't take it. I usually get up and move or make them get down. It sincerely causes me stress.
But lately my husband has been reminding me that it is their love language. I tend to forget that. I just think they are trying to bug me because I am wrapped up in being selfish and only looking at it from my point of view. I miss that they are just wanting to experience a little closeness with me. I miss that they need this from me.
I've been having a hard time because I feel like the kids don't like me that much. I've been getting frustrated with them so easily lately. Not gracious or patient at all. I could blame it on their disobedience but I think it has more to do with the posture of my heart. Everything has been causing me stress lately (still trying to figure out the 'why' on that one). I keep focusing on those things that drive me crazy and miss the little things that could grow our relationship.
So I am trying to be more intentional with them, more free with my affection for them. Last Wednesday we had a huge inflatable at the church. It had a giant slide at the end. I was letting the kids play and just sort of following them to make sure they didn't get hurt. I was worried about them falling or getting stuck, or worried they would break something or spill the bowls of food. Why wasn't I taking this amazing opportunity to play with my kids? I need to let my guard down, turn off the stress, and just enjoy them. So I asked my daughter if I could go through it again with her. This time I laughed and played. When we got to the end, about to slide down, I asked if I could hold her hand and if we could go down together. Her face lit up and she grabbed my hand. It was a magical, one that I will cherish even though she will probably forget due to her young age.
I really want to challenge myself in this area. Loving people the way they need to be loved. Not just my children, but my husband and friends as well.
What are some ways you feel loved? What changes can you make to love others well?
-Kate