my breastfeeding journey.

Breastfeeding has been a huge part of my journey as a mother. I have felt so honored and privileged to serve my children in this way. It hasn’t always been easy, but I am a lucky one that hasn’t had any major issues.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed because I knew I was created for it. I knew I was capable. I knew I was strong enough. I also knew that breastmilk is freaking liquid gold, it is seriously so nutritious! Like my body specifically makes milk for my specific children to help grow their bodies. What?! So cool.

Also, I knew I couldn’t afford formula. I had twins at 22. We had zero money. We honestly had no means of buying formula even if we wanted to...this is also a HUGE reason why we cloth diapered. The money just was not there.

I’m not sure if anyone believed I could nurse my twins. The nurses and pediatrician at the hospital tried their very best to coerce me to use formula. I just knew I didn’t need to. It was a deep strong conviction. I was honestly offended that people didn’t believe nursing would be the best for my babies and that I couldn’t possibly do it. But we did. I chose to tandem nurse for all our sanity. I did not want to spend all day nursing. It was a huge ordeal at first. They were 34 weeks, so tiny and sleepy. It took a while to get them awake enough to eat. And during the days by myself, getting propped up to nurse them was a task. I needed a lot of room and the hugest boppy known to man. But they thrived and we showed all those health professionals what’s up! My little girl had an intolerance to dairy we found out around 4 months, after so many stomach issues her entire baby life. So I had to give up ice cream and cheese to help my sweet girl feel better. But it was so worth it, her temperament changed night and day. I nursed them until they were 16 months old. I only stopped because I got super annoyed by nursing...I just wanted my body back! Haha! I kept saying, “I don’t want them touching me anymore!” So Greg told me it was okay to be done, and we stopped! They didn’t care one bit and had no issues weaning!

Nursing my sweet little Autumn was such a blessing. Though hard at first, recovering from a devilish c-section, it was so therapeutic and uplifting to me going through postpartum depression and anxiety. Knowing we could have that sweet time together really gave me joy. I nursed her all the way up to being pregnant with Kent, around 15-16 months, and only stopped because my body stopped producing. She wanted to keep going and would try to nurse for few weeks after the milk was gone. We eventually found a new routine.

Now I am 5 months into nursing my precious little Kent. I am not inconvenienced at all by breastfeeding. I think it’s easier than having to make a bottle, and I honestly don’t mind being the only one to wake up at night for feedings, I cherish that time together so much. I also love using breastfeeding as an excuse to leave a busy room. Introverted at heart, I don’t mind missing out on the fun and will sometimes pretend to nurse to get some alone time. But, I’m also not afraid to nurse in public. When baby has to eat, he has to eat! I use a cover depending on who I’m around...usually just at church. It gets harder to use a cover as baby gets bigger because they wiggle and pull it off anyway. I always try to be modest because I personally feel my boobs don’t need to be seen by anyone else.

I am really honored to have been able to breastfed my children. It has given me so much life. I am honestly going to be sad when my last baby is weaned. The wonder of breastfeeding truly cannot be described unless you can experience it yourself. Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

why I jumped on the bandwagon.

I have been forced to come to the realization that I have become an emotional wreck. Going through pregnancy and nursing twice has left me a little hormonally unbalanced, or a lot. I have weeks of feeling like I'm in a pit that I can't get out of. Anger and frustration that I've never experienced in my life. Overwhelming sadness. Fear and panic at the littlest things.

Honestly, I had been afraid to talk about it, even to my husband. I would try to hint at how I was feeling, but felt shame over how I really felt on the inside. I am married to a pastor; we do ministry every day. And this is where a lot of my shame has come from. There is a lot of pressure to have everything together when you are leading people in Christ. And sadly, judgment when you don't.

I've had this voice in my head, "You aren't praying enough, trusting enough, reading scripture enough, finding joy in Christ enough."

And though that is always true, there is so much more to grow in Christ; I knew I needed some extra support. I'm pretty to blessed to have the husband I have, though. He graciously brought it up to me that he felt like something was wrong. And I confessed that I had been feeling the same thing. He told me to start searching for ways to help.

I was actually already in a group about essential oils at this time. The very next day after this conversation with my husband, the group discussed how oils support emotional health. I was so intrigued by the research and the personal stories behind them. Oils could be a natural way to help without the side-effects of other options.

Let me tell you, I was super skeptical, but pleasantly surprised. I got the Young Living Premium Starter kit (11 oils), and then ordered a few more that I felt would be beneficial for me during this time. Young Living has a line specifically for emotional support. They really have promoted emotional balance in me in just the month that I have been using them.

I was so surprised with the uses beyond just emotional support (sleep, sickness, kiddos!) that I wanted to share with others what has been working for our family.

Have you been wondering what essential oils are all about? I'd love to be here for you to answer any questions; I have some great friends that know a lot more than me too, so I can ask them if I don't know the answer.

Want to try something out for a specific area? I'd love to order something and send it your way! Some of my favorites are:

• lavender and cedarwood for sleep
• bergamot and grapefruit for uplifting
• Gentle Baby for all things baby
• Progessence Plus for hormonal balance
• Thieves for immune support and just about everything

What's in the starter kit?? 11 oils, a diffuser, and lots of fun samples.

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You can grab the kit for yourself here: https://www.youngliving.com/vo/#/signup/start?site=US&sponsorid=10917669&enrollerid=10917669

We all have struggles in different areas, and I believe one of the best ways to overcome is to tell a trusted friend. Community does wonders for the things we feel shame about. When we stay in isolation, we give more power to those things. I pray that if you have something you are concerned about, you will reach out to someone to help you battle it head on. I am also here if any of you would like someone to listen; I've been told I have good ears!

In truth,

Kate

finding self-care.

Can we all just agree this is one of the hardest things in life? I feel like no matter what season of life, what occupation, what financial situation, it is so hard to take care of ourselves. Our culture is so focused on success, and we will kill ourselves in the process of trying to achieve whatever we feel like that means. Our lives are busy and full. We go and go and do it again the next day. We spend little time caring for our souls, and this leads to so much unneeded stress and anxiety. What if we took the time to do some caring for our well-being? I feel like there are 6 areas where we can really connect with ourselves and change our lives for the better.

1. Get Alone. Get Quiet. If we are going to care for ourselves, we need to know ourselves. So much division in our thoughts and emotions come from not taking the time to learn about who we are. Our world is so LOUD. Honestly, the quiet is intimidating. We have to wrestle with those thoughts and deal with our emotions. As a believer in Christ, I need that quiet, alone time to read His word, pray, listen, meditate. This is hard. I neglect this way too often. It sometimes seems like an inconvenience to all the things I need to mark off my list for the day. But without this, I have no reset. No rest. No strength to draw on as I face each day's challenges. We must take time to be alone.
2. Exercise. Yep, I said it. Exercise is important. It may feel like you don't have the energy to get moving but do it anyway. I don't mean you have to run 3 miles or lift 200 pounds at the gym. Do something you think is fun. Something that you are excited about, or else you probably won't be motivated to stick with it. Creating this discipline will really go far in your life. For me, ballet has been such a gift from God. I never dreamed I would be a dancer. I didn't start until I was 21. I was intimidated at first, but I was so in love with the movement of it all. My husband said he could envision me dancing, and I took the plunge. I NEVER try new things, but I am glad I did this once. I know I am fueling my body and my emotions. Find something and do it.
3. Friendship. Everyone feels alone. If you feel alone in being alone, you aren't. Loneliness is one of the ways Satan tries to keep us from living life to the fullest. We need to have those few people in our lives that can share in our burdens and victories. And we need to take the time to grow those relationships. A breakfast date or afternoon coffee can do wonders for a relationship. Community offers something to our souls, belonging and encouragement.
4. Hobby. This word seems silly to me. And honestly, I never really felt like I had a hobby. I thought hobbies were things people were just obsessed about, like stamp-collecting. But a hobby is really just a positive pleasure. It could even be a part of your exercise, like ballet is for me. God gives us inclinations towards certain things. He does long for us to enjoy this world He created. Do you love listening or playing music? Being outside? Growing food or flowers? Painting? Writing? Using your hands to create things? What are those special things you enjoy that make you, you? Give yourself time to do them.
5. Learn new things. When we are done with school, we often stop trying to learn. Recently, I have felt a little stupid. I haven't spend time to challenge myself intellectually, to learn things. We need to use our brain to feel that our whole self is taken care of. Maybe you learn at your career, and you are already having this need met. But I am at home, and rarely get to finish a book. When I give myself the opportunity to look deeper into a topic, whether it is world-events, research articles, or even scripture, I feel so much better about myself. Our self-esteem needs some brain power.
6. Date Night. If you are married or in a significant relationship, you need time to nurture this, just like with friendships. My relationship with my husband is my most important earthy relationship. He is more important than my kids. I love him more than I love my kids. That seems a little harsh to say, but it has been one of the best relationship principles we know. Our marriage is the foundation of our family, and if it is suffering, everything else is suffering too. We must take the time to invest in this important relationship.

So how in the world do I take care of myself in these six areas if I feel like I can't even find the time to take a shower? I know. I'm right there with you. It's hard to make self-care a priority. So many other things seem more demanding of our time. But we just can't take care of our families well if we aren't well ourselves. Here are some tips:

• Wake up early. It sucks, but getting up before your kids and giving yourself some time to prep for the day really helps.
• Stay up late. Not a morning person? Maybe you need to stay up and extra half-hour or hour after everyone is in bed for a little time to spend on yourself.
• Lock the bathroom door. Haha. Sometimes, I just need 5 minutes to pray or be in the quiet in order to keep going. Just go to the bathroom an lock the door.
• Use the TV. I don't let my kids watch that much tv. We have a pretty set schedule, and I feel guilty letting them watch more. But if an extra 30 minutes helps me to re-charge in order to be a better mother to them, I should utilize that. They deserve for me to be at my best.
• Ask your spouse for help. Myself and some other women I know have a specific day and time each week that they are free to do whatever they want. Sometimes I feel bad asking my husband to take over the house duties because he has a day job. But he is their father. He wants to have that alone time with them, and who am I to not allow that? ;)
• Plan a kid-swap. I know some moms who offer to watch each other's kids every other week. So one week you get a couple hours to yourself and the next week your friend does. Such a great way to foster relationships with your kids too!
• Find extra money. Sometimes I feel like I cannot do anything because we just don't have the money. I have to budget in my ballet classes. We have cut funds from other areas in order to give ourselves resources to  self-care. Also, I love the Ibotta app, rebates for groceries turn into gift-cards for date nights out. (Also, if you use my referral link/code, you get $10 and I'll get $5! https://ibotta.com/r/wgmnmkp, code: wgmnmkp)

Hope you all are able to take some time to care for yourselves this week!

In truth,

Kate